🚫The Backslide and the Balancing Act🚫
Not long after the betrayal, I did the unthinkable: I went back to Ariel. I convinced Derek it wasn’t my intention to leave and that it was all a misunderstanding. I told him Ariel was drunk. Due to her actions, I hesitated. I briefly changed my mind. I wasn’t really leaving him. After that, I didn't think I could. Even though deep down, I knew I needed to, and I knew I should. But I didn’t. Not yet.
I didn’t officially end the marriage or ask for a divorce until about two months later. Enter my lovely trauma brain... The two months after Christmas are a complete blur. It was just a haze of anxiety, avoidance, and denial. I wasn’t happy in my marriage, I wasn’t happy in my friendship with Ariel. Everything felt wrong. But I didn’t know how to leave either one.
❤️The Danica Effect❤️
Prior to Christmas a new friend entered the picture, let’s call her Danica. From the moment we hung out one-on-one, we clicked instantly. Of course, Ariel hated it.
In true Ariel fashion, she couldn’t stand not being the center of my universe. I was constantly walking on eggshells, trying to balance two friendships, a crumbling marriage, and my own rapidly deteriorating mental health. 💥 SPOILER ALERT 💥 I can’t even physically balance thanks to my neurological tremors, so emotional balance? Not happening.
There was tension. Then there was closeness. Then there was chaos. At one point, I even thought, “Wow, we actually have a good little friend group.” Bless my naïve, people-pleasing heart.
🚩Red Flags and Blurred Lines🚩
Ariel’s jealousy over Danica was very obvious. She never came out and said it, but the flirty behavior around Derek? The passive-aggressive jabs? The way she’d light up when we were all hanging out together? I ignored the red flags like it was a full-time job.
People warned me. SO many people. I can't even count the number of people.... “She’s toxic.” “She’s manipulative.” “She doesn’t have your back.” I heard it, I just didn’t want to believe it. This was someone I’d shared a decade-long friendship with. Could she really be that fake? That self-serving?
Apparently, yes.
I’ve heard the “Single White Female” comparison more than once. And honestly? It fits. Because now shes living with Derek. Living my old life. The one I didn’t even want anymore. And I guarantee you, she’s learning the hard way that the grass isn’t greener, it’s just better lit on Instagram. 🙄
But she can’t back out now. She’s in too deep. If she left Derek now, she’d have no one. And that’s the amazing, karmic beauty of it all.
💡The Moment I Knew💡
Fast forward - I am officially separated but still living in the home with my ex.
There was one night, and this sticks with me, when a group of us were drinking at my house - me, Danica, Ariel, Derek, and a few others. Derek and I were already separated at this point, and I had no interest in sticking around for the evening.
Danica and I went to a friend’s house. Ariel claimed she was heading home to her fiancée.....remember Lena? Yeah she still lived with Ariel in the house across the street from mine, at the time.
Flash forward to 4 a.m. I get a message.... Ariel never left. She was still at my house, alone with Derek. Touchy-feely. Flirty. Sitting outside just the two of them.
My stomach sank. I knew something was happening. But I didn’t call her out right away. I was still trying to preserve the illusion, walking around this bomb of a friendship, trying not to trigger the detonation. So I sat with that information for a month. And it made me physically sick. LIKE PHYSICALLY. I was a wreck.
Eventually, it came out of me, during a completely separate fight, of course. I told her I knew there was something going on between the two of them. Her response? Deny, deny, deny.
What a surprise.
The lies that came out of her and Derek’s mouths could fill an entire season of bad acting television. And look, I’m not pretending to be perfect. I was a messy wife. I made my own mistakes. But the hypocrisy? The gaslighting? The level of emotional whiplash? It still makes me want to smash my head into drywall. (Thanks, BPD rage.)
At that point, Derek didn’t owe me anything. I had hurt him. I left. I wasn’t his concern anymore, and I get that.
But Ariel? That’s different.
I never imagined her loyalty could lie anywhere but with me. Turns out, it didn’t lie with me. Just to me. 😂
🎬The Final Cut 🎬
Eventually, I moved out for good. Danica took me in. Not just me, but me and my two girls. She helped me in so many ways, supporting me through the chaos and the healing. I’ll be forever grateful for everything she’s done and for our friendship. To this day, she remains my rock.
And I left Derek and our never-renovated, emotionally haunted house behind.
The friendship with Ariel ended after one final blowout. I stood my ground, and I never looked back.
She never confessed anything until months later, when I had the video evidence to back it up.
She played the innocent victim. I was the one who hurt her so badly for ending the friendship. Meanwhile, she was texting me like some discount Hallmark villain:
“Please. I miss our friendship.”
…while sleeping with my ex, cheating on her own fiancée, and nesting in the pretty much empty and disgustingly messy disaster house I still legally owned. I mean, she stole my entire life. The only thing she didn’t borrow was my last name. But still give that one time I just hope my last name is changed before that happens. 💀
Literally texting me those exact words at the exact moment she was in bed with him.
To this day, I truly believe she’d be my friend again if I let her. And that, my friends, is disturbing. Sociopath? Narcissist? Diagnosable disorder? I’m not a doctor, but the symptoms are screaming.
There’s more... oh SO much more. Receipts, fallout, breakdowns, betrayal levels that would make Maury Povich's head explode.
But we’re not there yet.
Stay tuned for the next installment, where we fast-forward to the hard evidence, the actual fallout, and the point where she COMPLETELY goes off the rails.
Because this isn’t just a story.
It’s a saga. 💋